Esej “One day in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful”
autorka: Kristína Sládeková
Each of us is suffering. It is just a simple fact we are supposed to accept. Of course it is not an everyday thing, but problems, pain, sadness are a normal part of life, or someone could say that that’s what life is really about. There are still some demands placed on us, we have to visit schools since our birth, we have to work, we have also some responsibilities for others. Everyday pressure surrounds us, and it also goes hand in hand with stress. But that’s a normal thing. But as we know problems are of a greater or lesser nature. Not everyone loses their mother or become part of a war. But also suffering is a very subjective thing. Our perception of our problems is very different from person to person. So, how it really is? Can we say that ,,you are not dealing with that problems as I am‘‘? And what can this struggle with problems of life teach us?
It is said that the neighbour’s grass is always greener. That in fact, we don’t realize what we have, how happy could we be with these things we have. We just still want other’s life. Their cars, their happy families, their profitable work…
But there is also man who wants what ourselves have.It’s like a vicious circle. And sometimes, when it all goes really wrong, we wish to be someone else.
Our subjective feeling of that situation tears us apart. And it can be for example because our parents had a fight, our partner broke with us, and marks in school are worse and worse. We just feel terrible and depressed. And with these same emotions and feelings, other person can deal with the dead of her child, with an alcoholic husband who also take drugs and with no work at all. As summary, now, we are aware of subjective sensation of a situations around us. But it’s all about suffering and waiting for what life will do to us? Are we just victims of fate? In general, everyone wants to be happy. We imagine happiness as life without difficulties, with enough money, or when our wishes come true. We hate obstacles which prevent us from achieving goals. In that moment we want it to finally pass. It is even worse, when these problems persist. We are unhappy, depressed, anxious, sad, and desperate. We envy others their happiness and easy-going life. Our question often is: How much longer can I endure this torment? Why it’s all happening? Why me? It is supposed to give me something? Should I learn something? One day, when it all will pass, you live your ordinary life as if nothing had happened. But then you start remember. You realize, that the past formed your present life, your current self. You know how strong you are and the more pain and suffering you went through the stronger you stand here. Maybe you are surprised that you survived in the worst moments. You have experience with which you can help other people and give them some advice. But let’s change the view of suffering in that moment. Can we transform ourselves from victims of fate to brave warriors? Is it even possible?
One day the time will come, when we will be thankful to life for what it learned us. Maybe we will think about the thing that our attitude could be different. For example. There is some girl, we can call her Diana. She has mother who is an unemployed alcoholic. Every day, when Diana comes home from school , everywhere is a mess, she has nothing to eat and also she has to take care of her mum. She has to do part-time jobs. It is still the same. She comes home and start screaming to her mother, cursing her, she cries a lot and her mother returns her it all. Never-ending fight between them. Diana realized she cannot change anything, that she is a victim. But she can also look at it from a different point of view. Diana is not only victim in this household. It’s her mother a monster? Of course she’s not. She is just human as Diana. Mother’s parents were also alcoholics, so nobody taught her how to be different and she was not able to go against her predisposition. Diana can also just talk to her in moments when her mother is sober and plead with her to undergo some treatment. Or just ask her: mum, what’s wrong? Is there something I can help you with? I understand that your childhood was hell, but you don’t have to be victim of your traumas. It is always about our response, reaction to some stimuli.
So, why this quote: “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”? Maybe because setting of our mind is about constantly solving something. As C. G. Jung said:,,… and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.’’, or in my words, without difficulties we wouldn’t know what lightness is. And when we have some days when we have fulfilled all obligations, we have absolutely nothing to do, we are getting more and more bored, we have no stimulus, we have nothing to deal with, so nothing moves us forward and therefore we are stuck in one place. But we naturally grow and need to keep going, so our brain starts to always produce some new thoughts and thoughts and we start solving absolutely bizarre things. And some people then get frustrated or slip into sensory deprivation. Some of them get depressed or anxious. Can you see? Our brain is looking for new problems if there are none. And then you can be unhappy even you have no reason for it. So be grateful for your real issues.
Now, I would like to return to the main quote. I think that the parts of your life when you were struggling with something, you may consider as the most beautiful, because you learned the most important things for yourself. And maybe there is a man who envy you your strength and your past fight. You have something to give the world. And you are better prepared for next matches, you are able to deal with more tasks, you are just the best version of yourself.
SOURCE OF THE MAIN QUOTE: https://thriveworks.com/blog/best-sigmund-freud- quotes/
